Vietnam Time

Friday, October 26, 2007

Quiz #1: Vietnam


This is a relatively short, hardly educational multiple choice quiz about Vietnam, and me in Vietnam. Hope you enjoy it and best of luck!

And feel free to post your scores as comments below, either by name or anonymously...

Delicacies

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Livers and Hearts and Gizzards, Oh My: A Year in Review


The time, dear readers, has come. I'm not referring to my re-entry into the US, but rather an attempt to recap what has transpired in my life since I last found myself in lady liberty's red, white, and blue embrace.

I had intended on making this, as most years in review are, a summary of a dozen months, but unforeseen typhoons coups bouts with dengue vacations prevented me from getting to work on it. It has, therefore, morphed into a baker's dozen - thirteen months, which, contrary to what the number 13 may suggest, have ended up being rather lucky... and pretty damn sweet.

Below I offer you my year in review Harper's-style: by the numbers.

Days outside of the US: 422

Countries visited: 4 India Thailand Vietnam China

Countries worked in: 3 India Vietnam China

Days in India: 269 India

Days in Thailand: 9 Thailand

Days in Vietnam: 119 Vietnam

Days in China: 25 China

Longest plane ride: 16 hours (Newark to New Delhi) India

Longest bus ride: 14 hours (Hue to Hanoi) Vietnam

Longest train ride: 27 hours (Ranchi to Jabalpur) India

Longest train ride with diarrhea: 22 hours (Delhi to Jaisalmer) India

Trips to the toilet on that train: >20 India

Percentage of time I spent awake (lying on my stomach) wishing I hadn't chosen the top bunk: 75% India

Scripts I learned to read: 2 (Vietnamese, Hindi) India Vietnam

Scripts I learned to read of which I actually understand what I'm saying: 0

Languages I have tried to speak: 8 (Bengali, Chinese, English, French, Hindi, Spanish, Thai, Vietnamese) India Thailand Vietnam China

Languages that I have spoken without being laughed at: 1 (Spanish)

Nationalities of people laughing at my English: 1 (Australian) China

Days spent in a hospital: ~175 India China

Days spent in a hospital as a patient: 0

Hot showers: 0

New French friends: 6 Vietnam

New American friends: 1.5 (yes, Bram, you're the 0.5) India China

Items stolen from me: 2 (pair of sneakers while sleeping on a train) India

Most mosquitoes killed in one night: 34 India

Time at which those mosquitoes were killed: 2am India

Days that I spent the whole day in bed feeling utterly wretched: 1 India

Number of samosas eaten prior to spending that day in bed feeling utterly wretched: 5 India

Number of days following that wretched day in bed that I boycotted samosas: 4 India

Most samosas eaten in one sitting: 6 India

Bananas eaten in the year prior to my arrival in Asia: 0

Bananas eaten since: 100s India Thailand Vietnam

Most consecutive days that I ate rice: India Thailand Vietnam China

Most consecutive meals that included noodles: ~10 Vietnam

Most consecutive days dancing until after 5am: 5 Vietnam

Most consecutive days eating noodles after dancing until 5am: 5 Vietnam

Place attained in a five-man chili eating contest: 1 India

Days following the chili contest that I experienced extreme quantities of rectal displeasure: 2 India

Odd things eaten (by US standards): 10 (chicken livers, gizzards, and hearts; cow stomach; crickets; snails; fish heads; baby bunting; dried squid; duck embryos; porcupine; cobra) Vietnam China

Sick days following the consumption of the aforementioned rarities: 0

Times eating Western food: 5 India Vietnam

Sick days following the consumption of the aforementioned Western non-rarities: 2 India

Times hit by a vehicle: 3 (motorcycle, bike, car) India

Drivers of such vehicles that acknowledged that they hit me: 0

Injuries sustained in vehicle accidents: 0

Injuries sustained while playing cards: 1 Vietnam

Injuries sustained while dancing: 2 Vietnam

Most rats seen at a single time: >200 (Kolkata) India

Times seen dogs and cows fighting over garbage: >5 India

Times seen dogs and humans fighting over garbage: >10 India

Times seen cows and humans fighting over garbage: 0

Times stepping in dog shit: 0

Times stepping in cow shit: >10 India

Number of many-armed gods seen thrown into a river: 2 India

Placentas seen prior to August 2006: 0

Placentas seen since: 100s India

Percentage of Vietnamese women that wear full arm gloves and face masks around town: ~20% Vietnam

Time it took for me to understand that Vietnamese women don such attire not to stay clean but to stay white: 10 days Vietnam

Percentage of Chinese women that carry umbrellas around town: ~35% China

Time it took for me to understand that Chinese women carry umbrellas not to stay dry but to stay white: 10 minutes China

Times that the temperature exceeded 100ºF/38ºC: ever been to India in April or Vietnam in June? India Vietnam

Scubadives: 4 Thailand Vietnam

Times lost underwater by divemaster: 2 Thailand

Length of time spent in the dive shop pestering the staff for a refund: 2 hours Thailand

Amount of money recovered: $0 Thailand

Number of pamphlets stolen from the dive shop by my dive companion: 20 Thailand

Most expensive haircut: 75 cents India

Disparaging remarks made to me, an American, by Vietnamese about the Vietnam war: 0 Vietnam

Disparaging remarks made by Vietnamese about the Iraq war: >10 Vietnam

Length of intended original stay: 5 months India

Projected stay: 17 months India Thailand Vietnam China

Person I miss most: you

Since you managed to make it through this list, here is your prize: a beautiful rendition of a Beatles classic.