The End As We Know It?

Judged by the current international reckoning, English has emerged as the lingua franca of the world.

The rampant growth of the British empire from the 15th century into the 20th is what fueled it. Some people were forced into using English by their colonizers. Other took to it as a means to access political power.

The Industrial Revolution played a role as well, as two-thirds of inventors the world over were from English-speaking countries; people had to learn to speak English to make use of the new inventions. Today, nearly 80 percent of scientific literature is in English.

English has also dominated the world monetary system over the last 200 years. It was adopted as the primary language of the United Nations just over 50 years ago, and any countries with “other” languages were encouraged to speak ours if they wanted a piece of the action.

And let us not forget the largely American juggernaut of cultural expression—in music, television, and cinema—that has succeeded in invading almost every home on the planet.

For those of you now swelling with pride, wait just a moment. Some linguists say that the heyday of our version of English is almost over.

At present, close to 1.5 billion people worldwide speak some form of English.

More than 400 million of those speak it as their mother tongue. Almost 400 million more, mostly in former British colonies, speak variations of English as their second language. And another 700 million speak it as a foreign language.

With second language countries growing at approximately 3 percent per year, compared to mother tongue countries at a paltry 1 percent, the variants will soon have more adherents.

Switch on any television here in India and you’re bound to hear one--the fastest growing one at that.

A Domino’s commercial: “Hungry kya?”

McDonald’s: “What your bahana is?”

Coke: “Life ho to aisi”

Apparently, this one—Hinglish—will soon become the most commonly spoken form of English in the world. Already a third of Indians are speaking it and the numbers are growing.

They say that a third of the people here speak Hinglish already (that's more people than the entire US), though I think I've yet to hear it. What I do hear more than anything is Hindi with English sprinkled throughout. Perhaps that's Hinglish? Perhaps I should do a bit more research in the 16 hours I have left here?

Ok, so this doesn't exactly pertain to what you are about to see, but I couldn't find any signs in Hinglish. It felt cheap simply posting photos, so I built a bridge where it probably didn't belong. It's the effort that counts anyway, right?




I'm scared to think what this is a euphemism for.




Perhaps not funny, per se, but something seems odd about this.




A high-end electronics manufacturer. Not only do I not understand the ad, but this "spokesperson" just doesn't instill that shopper's confidence.




I'm not sure I care to see what happens with a cream that's too effective.




Ahh yes, a splendid idea. Let us take to the skies for all those that can't afford to.



Sober looking? What's the opposite of that?




A peculiar, albeit completely valid, niche market.




The most popular porcelain manufacturer in India (from my perspective at least).




Rumor has it that local STDs are the most authentic.




Deepak Palace pulls out all the stops. Get your STD in style.




Phenomenal food, though the service is definitely a bit erratic.




Like what? Edible? Chocolate-covered? Glow-in-the-Dark?